Some times it is so hard to face reality. This past weekend when we went to Pigeon Forge, I forgot Aidan's heart meds. His cardiologist called them in to the pharmacy, but none of the 3 locations carried them. I really thought it wouldn't be a huge deal, and in all honesty, it wasn't a major crisis. What I noticed, though, was that after 2 days without them, he was really tired. We all napped on Saturday for 1.5 hours, and even after that, he was ready to crash. He also got really tired Sunday after we got back, and didn't want to go swimming (which is really odd for him). Even yesterday, with being back on his meds, he napped for 2 hours.
It is hard for me to make myself face the facts sometimes. Some of the facts to face are: 1) Aidan will probably always have to take medicine for his heart, 2) Aidan will probably never be able to keep up with his buddies: running, playing sports, or swimming for an extended period of time, 3) The surgeries are not over, 4) He is at least a year behind developmentally.
When I think about those things, however, so many good things come to my mind to balance out the negative: 1) He could have other conditions/defects that are a lot worse, 2) He recovers quickly (for his open heart surgery, we were out of the hospital in 5 days), 3) His endurance will be greater after his next surgery, 4) Even though he is behind developmentally, it has allowed us to enjoy his early childhood phases longer, 5) Being there through all of this has created such a bond, 6) With us knowing some of what we were going to face before he was born, we were able to prepare, 7) The health care available to him is outstanding, 8) He still maintains a good activity level.
The negative things are big things, but there are so many good things to balance it out, not to mention just the pure enjoyment that his life brings to so many. I have gone from extreme high to extreme low. The worst moment of my life was having to let him go on a helicopter without Clint and me when he was a day old. I have never been so low, or felt such heartache. On the other hand, though, I have felt so much joy that it was almost uncontainable. He rode a go-cart this past weekend by himself, with me watching on. I guess I am the only mother ever to cry watching their 5 year old go round and round on a little track?? It was ridiculous.
I thank God everyday for the gifts he has given me. Who could ask for 2 better boys than Ethan and Aidan. They have their moments definitely, but overall are such good kids. I swell with pride when watching Ethan play ball, seeing him run bases, or swim in the pool. My heart also aches when Aidan cuddles up to me and says he loves me. Who could ask for more? They also have such a great support system. They have both parents at home, grandparents on both sides who are extremely involved and do stuff with them, and an overall great environment that they live in.
Thank you God for this life, and the 24 hour experiences that you allow me to take part in....
1 comment:
Yall are such a wonderful and blessed family. I could only imagine what yall have faced over the years. God may give us challenges to deal with, but he will always provide a way. You and Clint have done such a great job with your boys and have overcome so many challenges. I love both your boys very much, they are great kids - I think yall are kinda great too. You always have us here for the low and the high times to lean on. Philipians 4:13- my life's motto.
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